I Can Only Go Up

Freshly cut grass, cars on shoulders It's a new year for all, a better year for all. Looks of genuine happiness as friends are met; Looks of anticipation from all the Resident Assistants. Everyone moves in, a sigh of relief. I tossed and I turned, two weeks of intense training over. A small victory for now. What could this new year bring? I did not know, For I could only go up, up to success. Summer sunshine gives way to the briskness of fall Classes are going fast, but feeling so damn slow. Behold, just as I get into the swing of things.... I get a call, and life knocks me down. I confide in a supervisor (because information can only go up!) Instead, information goes out. Out, never up (the opposite of what us RAs were told) Soon, the whole administration knows. From this hole I created, I can only go up. A storm nicknamed Sandy rolls into town, Emergency meetings called into action. Never mind the sleep deprivation, the countless pages of missed reading, It's meeting, after meeting, after meeting. Friendships are strained, relationships are broken. “It's not your fault!” They all exclaimed. Staying up to midnight, past 2 if it's a weekend. “Forget the residents' harsh words, it comes with the job!” When life gives me hell, I can only go up. Take two weeks for break, then it's back to work January. Rolling with the punches, I'm already praying for a break. Scathing remarks are made, trust is broken. “Why am I doing this again?” I start looking for answers under my pillow. Alas, nothing is there, save for a broken spirit. Another call, more heartbreak. I scream to be with family, to rewind time just to get stories from lost ones. While praying starts looking right, I can only go up. Spring semester starts, all hope is not lost! A new semester surely means a new start? Looking at my plate, adding more than should be consumed. I look for an outlet, and find an opportunity. A new type of sorority; multicultural, in fact. Jumping on board, I should have said, “Wait.” The pain of lost ones, still fresh in my mind, I opted for the delay in feeling. Seeing what could be, I can only look up. Long nights and cold showers, Crying people and lonely hearts, Surely this is what being 21 means. No birthday outing on the 14th, But downing two beers and praying for solace. Fighting ensues, My outlet idea implodes. Rolling with the punches again, Crying inside with rage, I can only go up. Debuting the one and only, The latest expansion of my sorority. We come in with a bang, And face animosity from the get-go. Hearing all the anger from everywhere, Slowly breaking my heart. I worked hard for this outlet, I'm not turning back; I can only go up. Survived another year; Only one more left. Waiting, with bated breath, How will next year go? Watching the current graduates scurry across One by one, like ants Grabbing their diplomas and dropping off stage Realizing that I'll be one of those ants next year, Tears start their waterfall down my face. I can only go up from here.