I Can't

I can't give in, I'm stronger than the thoughts. ' come on, one last time' They whisper. They get stronger and stronger till they get the best of me. I give in. Relief but only for a moment I wake up in the morning, see what I've done to myself and cry. Why can't I be normal? You don't regret it but you hate it. If I hate it, Why can't I stop? It's a cycle, you tell yourself you're stronger than the urges but eventually you give in. How can you be stronger than the thoughts but give in? You relapse and relapse but before each time you say ' I can't ' when really, that's a lie. You give in every time. You hate it every time. Relief- only for a moment still relief