I can't stand my cat

I can’t stand my cat  

My cat sticks to dark clothing like a straight A report card sticks to the fridge

My cat stands on my head as if it’s the Golden Gate bridge and he’s a jumper

My cat leaps from the second floor and creeps in the fire place lumber

My cat hides in my dirty hamper and makes the floor damper

My cat snores Loudly and farts foully

My cat follows me like Peter Pan’s shadow

My cat is constantly looking in the mirror because he’s shallow

My cat invites himself into my French fries until the bag is hallow

I can’t stand my cat

But I need my cat like he kneads me.