i choose

loneliness is like a shadow

beneath it you feel cold

but step out of it and the heat of the sun burns, the sun looks inviting and relaxing but after a while your skin prickles and your breasts get clammy. take me back into the shadow where it’s cool and shaded. allow me to rest in the love that is true.

like the sun and the shade you do not ease the heat or the cold.  you are something that constantly makes me prickle, never to relax, never to enjoy.  

he is like a stream not to cold nor to hot, not to deep or to shallow. he allows me to be me and i allow him to be him.  if i need to cool down i can dip my feet, if i want to relax he runs steady.  i can be who i am and i like who i am.

take me to church you say don’t lie, don’t lie with others and definitely don’t swear.  all these things make you less.. like the sun and the shade they bring no relief and yet as i’m older these are the things that bring comfort. not you and your bullshit you who doesn’t satisfy anything ever.

you who takes and does as you please.  you are the burning sun and the lonely shade you stop people from thriving and turn them into surviving.  i wish you dead, i wish you cold loneliness, i wish you prickling heat and no soothing comfort,  i wish upon you swearing and loathing, oh but you invite it with your exceptional self worth, your narcissism and lying,  enjoy your new creation hopefully they will learn the truth before you die.

i choose to swear, i choose to lie i choose the stream should have said it louder. but now i say it louder i am happy as me.  you who bring no joy will not have the last word.. if i die i want you to know that your are a lie a lie a lie