I cried

I cried today.

Not because anything was wrong, simply because crying is an easy way to express all my emotions at one time.

I took a deep breathe and remembered that when I was a little girl,

my mother would hold me and let me cry for however long I needed to cry.

She said to me once "crying is okay and you can always cry in my arms."

I look to the future and wonder who I will cry with or cry in the arms of when I'm old?

I cried today.

I used to cry because someone would say a hurtful word to me or would push me on the playground,

Now when I cry it's because the only person to say a hurtful word to me, is me.

The only person that pushes me around, is me.

How do I learn to love someone else, when so far I can't even love myself?

I cried today.

I cried today because someone who once called me beautiful, said I am fat.

Trying to convince yourself that you are better than what people say is a lot harder than those movies care to mention.

I don't understand how I can learn to see myself as beautiful when someone who I gave everything to and shared my deepest most private emotions  with would dare tell me I am fat.

I cried today.