I Despise Me

She despises me

I did all of those horrible things

I pushed her away 

so she turned and ran.

Surely she despises me

I said all of those horrible things

I pushed her away

so now surely she'll run.

Surely she will despise me

She doesn't know yet but I've done horrible things

I haven't pushed her away

but maybe I should warn her to run.

They should all despise me.

Surely I should despise me

I do so many horrible things to myself

I push myself away

I run

and am left as a floating consciousness watching my empty body wreak havoc

doing so many horrible things

I wish I could spit on her.