I Didn't Ask for It

Dear Boyfriend

I’m sorry I don’t catch your attention but I guess I caught his

He made me think we were seeing a movie as friends

He was late forcing us to see the later movie and it got real dark out

First we were just walking around killing time

Then I realized I was behind bushes; nobody else could see me

He tried playing all innocent saying “You look so tense”

Then he gets closer without me noticing; he leaned in trying to kiss me

When I reject him he didn’t seem as if he’d let it go

It started getting darker and I wanted to just, go see the movie I paid twice for

Finally we sit in the dark theater first he is sitting to my right

My lower body sits more left with my upper body toward him

When the lights go down he moves to my left and gets close to me

He starts by barely touching my leg with his hand, but progresses quickly

Rubbing my thighs I try to push his hand away, but he doesn’t acknowledge the hint

He decides to be more in control of me and puts his arm around my back to my shoulder

The more I try to pull away the tighter he holds me the closer he pulls me

I decide to just stay still and watch the movie maybe he will then leave me alone

But that’s when it gets worse and I panic to the point I cannot control my body anymore

He slides his cold hand in my shirt grabbing my breast hard I try to run out of the theater

If only my body wasn’t paralyzed with such fear

My hands were the only thing that could move but they were my only protecting between my legs

He started biting my ear and pulling my hand to his crotch and I felt numb to my bones

I felt so alone in the crowded theater and helpless

He then starts to wrap his hand around my throat and choke me and rubs my thighs

Finally the movie is over but he isn’t finished yet

I thought he was being sweet walking me to my car, but realized it was another trap

I thought saying no and pulling away was a clear enough signal for him to catch onto

He kept trying to kiss me until I reached my car, I thought I was safe

He stood in front of me between the open car door still trying to kiss me

Tricked me into driving him to where he had parked because it was on the other side of the square

We must have sat in the car for almost 45 minutes trying to get him out of my car

He insisted on me kissing him I really didn’t want to I just wanted a friend to hang out with

When he became impatient, he forced his tongue in my mouth; I can still taste the cigarette breath

This is the worst night of my life I felt violated and helpless

Sincerely, the girl who didn’t ask for it