I Do Not

I don't like the feeling of being unsafe and unstable in a relationship I do not like not knowing what will make you angry I do not like not knowing when you're going to make me feel like the scum of the earth I do not like the feeling of inadequacy I do not like that nothing I do it good enough I do not like that I cannot open up to you Not without being attacked I do not like that you can't seem to understand that I'm still healing That I'm trying so hard I do not like every time you tell me you'll change You'll get better But you never do I do not like your ego And the fact that you have to assert that you're better than me And I especially do not like that you don't even realize you're doing it I can't hold it against you that way I can't hold it against you That you make me feel like I'm nothing Sure, you tell me I'm your everything But if that were the case Why would you treat me this way? I do not like your jealousy Nor your lack of trust I do not like your insecurities Just because your last relationship was shit I do not like that you manage to flip the blame on me whenever I try to tell you how you've made me feel Like it's my fault I do not like that I can't bring myself to hurt you You've told me that you'd be broken That you love me so much That you probably wouldn't go to college That you're nothing without me You know, people have told me that you're manipulating me with that That's how you're keeping me in this I have a hard time believing that That you'd use consequences to make sure I won't free myself But if it is true I do not like that