I Don't Know

Tick tock. Tick tock

The clock strikes senior year.

The light turns on. The whistle shrieks.

We all line up. A sea of heads

Very different yet all the same. Except one.

The Marshall demands: What do you want to be?

The door swings open

Mouths widen robotically. Pre-rehearsed words march out

Neurosurgeon

Criminal Lawyer

Physical Therapist

Congressman

Writer

I don’t know.

The light dims. The door swings shut.

ERROR. REPEAT

I don’t know yet…

ERROR. TRY AGAIN

What do you mean?

ERROR. ERROR.

How am I supposed to know?

ERROR

I’m only seventeen!

The light switches off. The Marshall leaves.

The room is empty. I am left alone

To decide.

Forced to decide. Now.

How? That is the ultimate question.

How can we know now?

The timer is set.

I start pacing. Thinking. Breathing raggedly. Rapidly.

Hands on head. Hands pulling hair. Tears streaming.

The headache begins. The timer ticks.

I start to unravel.

Too many choices. Not enough time to choose.

The timer ticks.

The door slams open.

The Marshall enters.

The light turns on.

It is time to declare.

His beady eyes settle on me.

Well?

I gulp. Mouth opens, words tumble out. 

I don’t know yet.

The light turns off.