I dont know.

I dont know,

i dont know why fate delt me these cards,

but those cards left scars and they wont heal,

i dont know why my dad had to drink and leave my family on the brink of nothing,

i dont know why my mom had a stroke and i had to run out screaming for help,

i dont know why i had leave my home and go to a place where i felt foreign and alone, 

see Vegas kept my soul warm but kansas.. made it cold,

i dont know why i had to be gay no matter how hard i tried to make it go away,

i dont know why he had to hurt me and yet still i loved him,

i dont know why i gave him everything regardless of the nothing he gave me,

i dont know why my step sister is my best freind and not my biological sister who says im her brother,

but i do know that fate is the lighting and i am the thunder,

see im not the victim anymore, 

im not 10 years old,

im 17 now and not alone, 

fate can only bring you so far,

and i refuse to go out like the string on a guitar,

i refuse too break,

ill fight this fate with every breath i take,

thats why hes gone now, hes gone away

he cant hurt me, my breath cant be taken away,

my mom is okay now and she finally understands this all happepened because it was part of a plan,

whos plan i dont know,

but i do know the point is to be bold,

no, im not okay im not any where near it, 

but im going, 

im moving in the only direction left which is up,

see my legs are broken but i have to stand anyways,

these scars remind me that its all in the past,

the wounds are healing if not very fast,

but my name is joseph, and im gay, 

im 17 and i lost my way but now i know who i am and where to go,

i built my life again from the ground up, this poem cant even summarize what else went on,

but the point is, even if its not okay now,

it will be,

see the world tried to crush me, 

but you have to fight back,

my door has just opened,

and I AM not looking back.