I Don't Know How I'm Still Me

Location

30609
United States
33° 57' 6.4224" N, 83° 22' 27.354" W

Open up my eyes and what do I see,
A world full of lust, drugs, thugs, anger, and greed,
I don’t think this is how God really planned it to be.
It’d be so easy to change if someone planted that seed.
I don’t know how I’m still me

When you give it your all and it never gives back
It’s you against the world and you’re under attack.
They say this is it; the third time is the charm
But It’s gonna take more than that when you wear your heart on your arm.

After the first they say there’s plenty in the sea,
Then after two, it just wasn’t meant to be.
But I can help but think after number three
That maybe there’s just something wrong with me.

Just sitting back thinking, contemplating
Struggling with myself, now I’m self debating.
Man you’re dope, you’re cool, I think you can sing,
But if I end up alone in the end, it don’t mean a damn thing.

Trying to take full advantage of what this life has to give,
Being fake behind mask is just no way to live.
And after the bull shit and pain that I’m in,
I think I may have forgotten just how to forgive.

Every bit of pain puts me one step closer
To takin that one sip, or that one dose or,
That one night fling, that one night game,
With a chick that I can’t even remember her first name.

I swear I had it and it just slipped through my fingers,
Maybe it would have worked if I was a famous rapper and singer.
I just want one, that all I need
I don’t need em chanting my name like my last one is Springer.

That’s my third one; I guess I must have struck out.
One day I’ll be happy, one day I might luck out.

You can say I look good “Wow he really grew up”
But until I get that one thing, I’m just a screw up.

My hearts shattered like plates, and its beating at all different rates,
And then our love suffocates, under the substantial weight,
I really want you to wait, but I really know it’s just too late.
And as I break down, and my heart begins to disintegrate
I close my eyes and I hope the image of you dissipates.

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