I DON'T MIND UNTIL I DO

I don’t mind that we went our separate ways

it was bound to happen anyway

I don’t mind the awkward feeling when we’re with mutual friends

I don’t even mind listening to the bands you advocated

in the early hours of the morning through tired text

those don’t bother me

I do mind when my kindness is taken as weakness

as you twisted my arm behind my back in pleasure and pain

and whispered my name under your breath like it was a promise

but you were the one with your fingers crossed behind your back

I mind when I see your sad eyes from across the room lock with mine

like you’ve got something to say

yet we both sit in silence and stubbornness

and I am unwilling to be the first to break it

I mind that you left me with these conflicting emotions of love and hate

the only closure I received was that of your hand on my thigh and your breath on my neck

a mutual mistake

and though I just want to forget

I can’t say I regret all of it

because at least this time I know it’s not my turn to apologize.

ECA