I don't understand

There's a lot I don't understand. I choose to leave my life in his hands. Who's hands you ask? God. He carries me through the storm, gives me hope when I'm torn, but I give nothing in return. I am ashamed of my choices, and it's the people around me and heir voices that make me feel worse. Those bad choices turn into secrets I keep inside, but I can't confess because they would die. God knows; he sees everything and yet he keeps blessing me. That is what I don't understand, but I choose to leave my life in his hands.