I Don't Want To Be Like You

I don’t want to be like you.

I know that hurts for you to hear after all you have done for me

But it whispers across the distance between us whenever I go away

Or when I speak of my goals and my future desires.

I don’t want to be like you.

I don’t want to let my depression consume me,

This neverending weight that sits on my chest and keeps me

From performing even the simplest tasks – I haven’t bathed in days,

But I still get up and do my school work with what little energy I have

Because when I look at you I see what I could become if I were to stop.

I don’t want to be like you.

I don’t want to kill myself at a job where they treat me like another cog ready to be replaced

In a neverending machine of corporate production.

I don’t want to hurt myself and break my bones

All for a paycheck that is gone before I even get to enjoy it.

I don’t want to be stuck in a place where everyone knows my name but ignore my cries for help

When I’ve fallen and I’m struggling to raise myself up.

I don’t want my future children to look upon me and see failure

To see someone that gave up when they had a chance to move forward.

I don’t want to be like you.

And I hate that I look at you and see those things because I know you have been there.

And I hate that this negativity courses through my veins and blinds me to the wonder that you are; to the strength that you have exhibited.

And though I am afraid of the future and what lies ahead,

I hope I can be like you and keep my head up and keep moving even when the world sees me as

nothing.

I hope I can be like you and do all I can to survive, even if it all seems hopeless.

But most of all, I hope I can make you proud.

Because I don’t want to be like you

Because you worked too hard and gave up too much for me to give up now.