I dont want to Beleive

Look what he did to me Im here crying like im dying. No i dont want to believe you left me behind. The memories that i once had was awhile back when you were there and cared were i was at. Now i sit here as ages go by i wonder why did you leave my sight. i didnt want to believe what i seen and herd. But now 18 yrs passed by and all i can think is why me? Why did you cause this pain in my heart to hurt.I dont want to believe you left me behind. But i have to face the truth and leave the past behind . Almost 18 yrs passed and not once did i get to say "dad goodnight".or hear the words from a father "i love you daughter goodnight" It hurts yes it does, but i have to move on because the more i dont want to believe the more im holding myself back.