I dream of him both

I dream of him both often and in color

I can almost see his face, just beyond my reach

My fingertips aching to touch him

In my dreams I know him more than I know myself

From his eyes, to his brilliant smile to his bellowing laughter

Where his embrace envelops me, and I have found peace

A home in someone else’s soul

With him there is no need for words, for with our eyes we speak volumes

Oh, how I wish it were true

But instead I must wait

I plead on my knees

I close my eyes and dream

I feign a satisfaction with our simple greetings

The brushing of cheeks and embraces that end much too soon

His gaze meets mine, but I can’t read his eyes

Those deep beautiful brown eyes, so guarded

Keeping me at arm’s length

How I wish he’d simply pull me in

If only he’d let me hold him, heal his scars and love his dark places

To be his missing rib

To bring to fruition a love that I’ve only dreamed of or seen from afar

Yet all he does is watch

Smile, small and slow

I ask myself is it real? Or a figment of my own twisted imagination

My mind playing a cruel trick on my heart

For there are no butterflies

No anxiety for which I cannot breathe

But instead a warm joy, a giddy flutter in my chest

A sense of solid peace

Oh, how he makes my heart sing

A joyful tune I have only heard tales of

How I wish we could make a harmonious melody

That even the birds will envy, our hearts entwined in a song

Until then I will wait albeit not at all patient

But I will wait on my knees pleading until our tune rings melodious and true