I Feel Horrible

I feel horrible.

So many interviews.

So many questions.

So many things that fill me with doubt

I just feel horrible.

They say failure leads to success

But they never tell you how hard, depressing and tear-jerking this journey can be

I feel horrible

So, I searched the self-care board on my Pinterest on how to feel great

It says to take a shower but I already have

It says clean something but I don't have the strength

It says blast some music but I already know no song can heal me

So I take the advice of writing a poem, a poem about how

I feel horrible

It's helping I guess, I don't feel as bad.

It's like my tears are running through my fingers,

They release onto this page as I type

And now I'm starting to think I am not horrible

I just feel horrible

Eventually, this will go away and I will be happy to be alive

I will move on with this life

Find happiness within this body

I will find a job meant for me, find the purpose I am trying so hard to seek

I will feel the love that I can only dream,

I will learn to love my life

And I will feel free

I will feel, no

I will be happy.  :)