I feel Stressed

I feel stressed

this is my first full experience

in high school

I never had this experience

but it is difficult

parents wanting me to go home

I had to take care of things

traumatized by my mother's death

I can barely sleep

can’t take medicine

parents won’t allow

I am busy

can’t sleep

can’t eat

But I always have to smile

and say “no, everything is okay”

the truth

I am scared

I had a phobia of people

of interacting with others

why??

had a very bad history with them

took back all the way to 2006

I a five year old

playing in the school yard with my teddy bear

then a dark shadow covered the sun

in my view

three older boys in my way

first started to harass me verbally

then threatened to beat me up

the reason

no idea

I felt anger and rage that came into my blood

and next thing I know

I pinned one of them to the floor

and I couldn’t remember the rest

but that is not the end of it

I was bullied by peers

reason

My appearance

white hair that I inherited from Mother’s family

intelligence

fashion

glasses

lack of strength

never talked about my family

was a shy girl

i may have seemed weak

did not fit with my family

My father’s side of the family

wealthy in his country

aunts are lawyers and professors with a ph.d degree

uncle is a Auto expert

My father works at a international company

flaw

their ignorance

My Mother’s side of the family

poor

ever since my mother was born

uncles

drug addicts

aunts housewives and single mothers

grandmother diagnosed with amnesia

grandfather

DEAD

the one thing that both my families have in common

they are all extroverts

Including my sister and brother

I had a meh past

bullied for three years

had a stalker who had a crush on me

followed me home

one guy who liked me and rejected

tried to stab me

my mother’s death of murderer

her name

won’t tell

the worst part of her death I watched

her body

never found

no one would imagine my pain

i always put on a smile and I seem like a simple girl

I am a player of a basketball team

a friend of 20 people

a daughter

an aunt

a sister  

and a LIAR

I need to find happiness

I feel stressed