I fell in love with a toxic guy

I fell in love with a toxic guy and I can't leave him I'm still holding on to the person I met when we started dating the guy who always made me laugh took me out to eat , the guy who made efforts for me no matter how small ,I appreciated he made me feel loved , made me feel safe then he changed ,I don't know why was it because of me ? but I apologized ,I can't be perfect right ? he used to apologize , even when I was at fault so he could talk to me but now why can't he apologize when he makes mistakes ? why I'm I the bad guy all of a sudden ? is there anything I can do to talk to the guy he was even for just a minute ? or what can I do to bring that guy back because this is not him 🥺we don't get along with this version of him