i felt the coulds behind

i felt the clouds behind me

i saw the blue 

behind the birds

i sing the blues

("...and swallow them too")

trying to pick apart

a universal meaning from behind gray 

some mantra to turn me on

illuminate my shadows away 

that mists of dusts block me 

from me

fog outweighing

my desire to see anything

even structure 

clearly

shame in not finding it because not looking hard enough

lazy

enough torture and i can acquire it

sitting so i can be solid

but not break and be brittle