I Fight Dragons in my Sleep

I’m so afraid

Of what happens in my

Head

As I lay there in the silence of my

Very own bed

 

I’m afraid of the things

That my mind couldn't

Master

That chase me through dreams and

Spin my head

Faster

 

I’m afraid of the things

Things that I couldn’t

Stop

All those things that he did

Things that make my heart

Drop

 

I’m afraid of the things

I don’t know why they

Appear

When I wake up crying

And my Dragons smell

Fear

 

I’m afraid of the images

That dance through my

Head

And I can’t hold my sword

And I wish I was-

 

No I don’t.

No I don’t.

No I don’t.

 

I don’t wish I was dead

What an awful thing to

Say

But I wish I was stronger and braver and-

hey.  

 

i know you dont want

to have room for any

hate

and i know

that you got out a little too

late

 

and i know that you wake up

at night and you

cry

and i know that you

dont actually want to

die

 

No

I don’t want my heart full of

Hate and distrust

But sometimes I hate him.

Sometimes

I Must.

 

I’m afraid for my sisters

My very best

Friends

I don’t want to witness

Their childhood

End

 

Because even if you say

All of the right

Things

And act in compassion

Your dragons grow

Wings

 

And they’re not majestic

Like fairy tale

Books

And sometimes they trick you

With sneaky, sad

Looks

 

And sometimes you do see

The dangerous

Waters

And you think that you maybe

Can tread a bit

Farther

 

and i know honey,

i know how you

feel

you didnt see the dragons

and instead were a

meal

 

and thats something that

never should have

happened

and its something that you

could have never

imagined

 

But it did.

It did.

It did.

It did.

 

And I’m really not afraid

Of what has already

Past

Cuz those dragons are grown now

And damn they grew

Fast

 

And I’m really not afraid

That it will happen

Again

Cuz My Worst Fear

Has shattered my world from

Within

 

But I am afraid

For when I go

To sleep

And the dreams they come vividly,

And sink in their

Teeth

 

And God, I get scared

That I can’t come

Awake

And the dragons are out,

And they feel my heart

Quake

 

But I’m not afraid

To live and to

Feel

But just need to remember

What’s real

Is real.

Is real.

Is real.

 

But more than that, more than anything

I feel my heart

Aching

As I think of my sisters

And their dragons-

I’m breaking.

 

Cuz I can’t fight their dragons

I know it’s not my

Place

But I also can’t even

Look mine in the

Face

 

And my sword suddenly feels

Like it weighs a million

Pounds

And I know that it’s

Something that I can’t

Put down

 

so take a deep breath,

honey hold your head

higher

i know you can win

and i know if you

tire

 

then someone will be there

to hold up your

head

or maybe theyll take up

a weapon

instead

 

and slay a few dragons

or keep them at bay

because darling,

 

you’re worth it

 

and you’ll be okay.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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