I Forgive You

Dear Dad,

I forgive you.

I forgive you for stealing the air right out of my chest,

and for lighting a fire in my lungs till I run out of breath.

I forgive you for making me feel empty and depressed, 

for planting thoughts in my head that it’s my fault Mom left.

I forgive you for sending my heart into shock.

“my love for you has run dry, your hearts as cold and dead as a rock.”

I couldn’t move, couldn’t walk, couldn’t cry, couldn’t talk.

Since you uttered those words my heart only tics, never tocs.

It skips every beat, as if my better half just stopped.

I forgive you for the words that left my world rocked.

I forgive you for that day that you just shook your head;

the day I moved back to Texas and you didn’t say goodbye when I left.

You stared me down,

looked at the ground,

that’s when my face turned red.

You hugged goodbye your lofty wedded bride.

You held my sisters for endless minutes as they cried.

I paused waiting for your arms to open wide,

but congratulations the victory went to your pride.

You just shook your head held high.

I swear that day a part of me died.

I forgive you for making me cry the entire 24 hour ride.

I forgive you for putting people down to be the life of the party

I forgive you for missing everything, and not even trying to be tardy.

I forgive you for putting me second to Bacardi.

But most of all I forgive you for never saying you were sorry.

I forgive you.

Love, Ashley