I Go Back to December

I am suffocating
Sitting all alone on a Sunday night.
I can’t help but wonder how I messed up, of course no one could ever want me. And to think to myself this is how I will always be. a hiccup. A bump in the smoothest road to ever be travelled on. 
Then I think of him.
How he makes me feel and I begin to think again.
I rethink my whole life and evaluate how I’m living.
Or who I am the time that I’m spending 
Here wasting my time thinking of the better days. 
When I could’ve been living for myself, running through the wind and smelling the morning dew. Or how I could’ve been spending my precious time with him.. Instead of you.
He is sipping on coffee sitting across from me and all I can think is wow he’s the one. This is the one for me.
His smile is like the sunshine coming through my window every morning. I can’t help but look because it consistently draws me near for more. He smells like rain so fresh and distinct. I couldn’t be more happy with him sitting here with me. His baby blue eyes that match the beanie covering the top part of his ears. Making his eyes as deep and blue as an ocean that I want swim in forever. Forever. That word replayed in my head every time he touched me ever so gently. His skin so soft and warm as he whispered to me on that Sunday night “you’re the one for me” as my eyes lit up and his face drew near I couldn’t help but let my lips gently press against his as I say to myself.. He is the one for me.

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