I Guess It's When

i guess its when you forget the fact that everybody bleeds, although not everybody wears their heart on their sleeve, best believe they still have troubles, longings, and needs

i guess its when you forget how to apologize. words so simple you never realized, realized how they cry, realize how they shy, shy away from you. cause they're just too afraid of you, cause they're you to used to you spitting poison. so used to the take backs, they don't even react. when your word means nothing, not that it ever meant a whole lot of something. 

honestly I'm not convinced. convinced that this whole system makes sense. convinced that everybody has a role, convinced that one day ima grow old. why am i not sold?i guess its when sleep no longer keeps you rested. when everyday you're tested, your mind gets congested , you start to wonder what your best is. what even is trying anymore?like’; is it just effort or... or something mankind has yet to explore?

i guess its when de ja vu, is an everyday occurrence for you.when new doesn't really feel quite new. when routine has become embedded ,like a snake that never shedded do one thing out of order and look for credit. like look! change! its a revolution, call the news. but then its like ... a revolution for who?

i guess its when a sinner like me, doesn't seem so bad. when lying and cheating isn't sad, and when inappropriate is a must, and your heart beats solely off lust. when the “no no’s” your parents warned you about aren’t all that scary, and they danger you read about is very... very intriguing. has you listening. your taking notes from a book that was never read to you at bedtime. and at the same time you wanna grab it and hold it close to you, say this is mine. you can not take this from me. because independence is not a courtesy.  one day you're gonna grow up. and find out the authors name is a little too sketchy. lucifer wrote a novel too. but he lets everybody take a turn in writing it... even a sinner like you.

i guess its when colors start to tell stories , so you tie them all to your worries. all of a sudden yellow is your new favorite, and you can't stand brown , you say you hate it. blue means you get to start over, and green is only good when its on a clover. but red .red reminded you that everybody bleeds.

i guess thats when you start to think.... maybe i should stop thinking..