I hate you (Tribute poem)

I hate you for saying goodbye,

Because you never actually did.

You just left. Vanished.

I hate you because I loved you.

I love you but I just don’t get it.

“I love you.” That was the last thing

I said to you before I started screaming at you.

Screaming for you to start breathing again.

And you did, but only gasping breaths.

You had let go,

didn’t have the energy to grab life again,

death held you now.

There was nothing I could do,

but scream and cry.

My body ached, more than it ever had.

I hate you because you left me here.

alone, just a baby of 16 years.

I hate you because I love you.

Tribute, is it enough to say

I love you?

Never. But it’s all I have left.

I could list reasons upon reasons

of why I love you and why I hate you,

but they won’t bring you back.

So all I can say is I hate you,

for saying goodbye.

Much love,

      Emskirs

Ps: I love you.