I Have an Addiction

I have an addition problem, I must admit.

1 means one more, and 2 is spelled t-e-n.

30 is basically twenty-nine,

And anymore feels like shit.

But this is not a decrypting test,

My reader, do not fear.

I merely demonstrate my mind’s cajoles,

And the rationale thoughts I refuse to hear

The rationale part of me I deny

 Witness to everything that is foul

Everything, as in the reason for why

“compulsive” and “impulsive” are in dictionaries now.

They say love yourself, forgive yourself,

Trust yourself and your wounds will surely stitch

But I’ve learned that too much self-trust

can be a fucking bitch.

I have an addition problem, I must admit.

1800 means 100 more, and 2000 is spelled twenty-five-hundred

3000 is basically twenty-nine-hundred

And anymore feels like shit.

Numbers now not random,

But had been arbitrarily chosen

From the depths of hell beneath my face,

For 2 excrutiating years I’ve kept hidden.

I have an addition problem, I must admit.

300+2000+700+100= three-thousand-one-hundred

I know what you must be thinking,

That I am oh-so good at adding,

       But I am even better at tracking.

I have an addition problem, I must admit

1 banana+3 brownies+2 bowls of rice and chicken= seventeen-hundred

It’s gotten better today, this answer is very right

I only hope the sum doesn’t reach three-thousand

      by next night

I have an addition problem, I sadly must admit

2 apples +3 bowls of rice+6 cookies+12 pumpkin muffins equals

I CAN’T FUCKING TELL NO MORE

And I swear I’m losing my shit.

I have an addiction problem, I do admit

And habits spare no one,

But I’ve slept since then and have grown strong,

So simply, fuck that shit.