I honestly don't know (Christmas day)

I was once a happy girl Who loved to wear rings and pearls It's funny how things have changed Because now I'm not the same I remember when I used to laugh and smile But now I just cry Today is Christmas day But I'm not ok I honestly don't know what to feel I'm just trying to stay still So I can't ruin today for my family Sorry mom and dad But pretending is making me lose my sanity And it's not your fault that I'm sad I just feel like a fool And I hope no one ever feels the same way I do