I Hurt

My pictures have been fake for years

My eyes don't sparkle like they used to

I try to drown out my mind with music and drinks

My heart and soul don’t quite work right

I'm hurting on the inside

 

My eyes create oceans at night

My body is covered in bruises and cuts

My head constantly aches

My hands never stop shaking

I'm hurting on the outside

 

Every time I turn around, there’s nobody by my side

I lost my friends and I don’t know why

Trust the wrong people and you’ll get burned

I wont let anyone close enough to hurt me anymore

I’m hurting on the inside

 

I’m in a battle against myself

I can’t run from the things in my head

I’m choking on my words like there’s a noose around my neck

I take a deep breath so you won't hear the crack in my voice

I’m hurting on the outside

 

I want to tell everyone I’m unhappy

I’ll just wake up though and put on another filter

I will smile at everyone and say I’m just tired

I’ll remember that I have been there for everyone else, and nobody is here for me

So I’ll keep silent and keep hurting alone

 

It hurts to smile

I want someone to love me as much as I hate myself

I’ve become so self-destructive, I can’t even recognize myself

I saved everyone, but I couldn't save myself

I’m hurting so much and I want someone to talk to

 

I feel everything too deeply

But I look at the people that love me and look up to me

I remember that I have a purpose

I have to make it, if not for me, for them

I don’t know what to do with all the hurt in my life

 

I can't die now because it would hurt so many people

Others depend on me for guidance

I have too much respect for them

I can’t destroy them the way I destroyed myself

So I hurt, but I’ll make it

 

My pain will not define me

I have to win this battle

I will learn to love myself again

For I have the love from my friends and family

I'll get through this because they believe I can

And eventually, I will too

This poem is about: 
Me

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