I Just Want To Be Loved

Thu, 11/08/2018 - 23:32 -- corat14

Sad eyes and whimpering cries,

Questioning myself all these why’s.

Why do I have to abused?

I didn’t do anything wrong!

Why am I not loved?

I just want loved!

I want to tell you “I love you.”

You are my person,

But you continuously put me down.

And say, “Why don’t you just runaway to town!”

I miss the days when you were free to play

But now you just keep me locked away.

Why abuse me

When you can choose to love me.

I just want to be loved.

 

 

This poem is about: 
Our world
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Comments

Monica Bell

This is very great and brave. I can really feel how you feel, but it feels a little too personal for you. It sounds like you get caught up in the anger and sadness of it instead of thinking about your writing skills. I do the same thing all the time and I have to rewrite it. I like the repetition of it and I would say you could make it more powerful. Add more repetition to it and it'll give you a voice.

Monica Bell

It also might sound better to me if it was aloud and when I just read it to myself it doesn't come off as powerful as it is.

 

Monica Bell

Dedicate a few lines to not rhyming

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