I Just Want To Be Loved
Sad eyes and whimpering cries,
Questioning myself all these why’s.
Why do I have to abused?
I didn’t do anything wrong!
Why am I not loved?
I just want loved!
I want to tell you “I love you.”
You are my person,
But you continuously put me down.
And say, “Why don’t you just runaway to town!”
I miss the days when you were free to play
But now you just keep me locked away.
Why abuse me
When you can choose to love me.
I just want to be loved.
Comments
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Monica Bell
This is very great and brave. I can really feel how you feel, but it feels a little too personal for you. It sounds like you get caught up in the anger and sadness of it instead of thinking about your writing skills. I do the same thing all the time and I have to rewrite it. I like the repetition of it and I would say you could make it more powerful. Add more repetition to it and it'll give you a voice.
Monica Bell
It also might sound better to me if it was aloud and when I just read it to myself it doesn't come off as powerful as it is.
Monica Bell
Dedicate a few lines to not rhyming