I Left Again...

I didn’t mean to choose this.

I didn’t ask to feel like this.

But I do.

I want to feel like normal people do, but I realized that I just cannot.

I want to feel butterflies and connect with you…with anyone, but to bear it leaves a heavy burden on my heart.

I try and elude the human touch daily. I feel disgusted and cold at the thought of love, but yet, it is a feeling I want to experience. Perhaps I want what other people have; to love, to feel the warmth of another being, to feel whole.

There is a sadness inside of me that will not allow me to experience these things.

It looks great on the outside to me, however, these emotions cannot be found within me.

I am incapable of loving another on a deeper level and I am truly sorry. I have tried changing, but these feelings follow me. They ruin everything I touch and I cannot look past them any longer.

This is me. It is who I am.

Because of this My Dear, I must leave you.