I Lied

I lied.

I lied that time I held your hand.

I held on to the thought of someone like you but not exactly you.

I lied during our first kiss, and every kiss that came after. I hoped that after each kiss you would become her but when I opened my eyes you weren’t. 

I lied when I held you in my arms. I gripped on to you harder and harder because I wanted to hold on to what I wanted. You were not what I wanted.

I lied to you during Christmas, on the new year, and Valentine’s day as well. These days were just like any other day for me. I lied when my skin touched yours.

We were just snakes colliding into each other admiring our own venom.

I lied when I told you all my fears, and my dreams, and everything in between.

But the thing is, I knew you lied too.