I Looked Up To You

For nine months, you allowed your body to enter its most vulnerable state. Waiting patiently as God made your child, your soul mate. And when that day came; the day you brought me into this world—I looked up to you and heard you say “I love you little girl.” I used to hide behind your legs; I used to follow you around. But I did this for a reason—to become your shadow on the ground. Now that I’m older, I have a shadow of my own, though it still follows the footsteps you paved for me in stone. But every now and then, I get a taste of déjà vu, and remember all the times when I looked up to you. I’ve learned that toughness cannot be measured by any sort of length. You have shown me the true definition of the word, strength. Through the tests, the chemo, the pain—you fought it all. For that, I look up to you and pray someday, I’ll be that tall. I’ll never forget that day when it all fell out. There we were in your bathroom, and I touched your scalp. With each strand of hair that fell to the floor, it was all too real, no pretending anymore. In each other’s arms, we cried together. But when I looked up to you, you were more beautiful than ever. You’re more than just my mother; you’ve become my best friend. Always there, never judging and willing to lend a helping hand. Because you are my mom, God’s gift to me was you, and I can’t thank him enough for giving me the woman I look up to. So on my wedding day, when dad walks me down the aisle, I’ll give you both butterfly kisses and thank you with a smile. And years from now, when I’m a mother too, I pray I never forget all that you have been through. I am your daughter and in your image I am proud to be. By the grace of God you were created, and you chose to create me. So from where I’m standing now, I wouldn’t change this view. Forever your baby girl, I will always look up to you.