I Love you

You, the one I used to know, You are dead The one I used to hold hands with, Lay my head upon, Wish to kiss me, but knew time Would Come when it came Never did. Never will. That boy is dead. Taking is spot In my life Accompanying me Is you. Never left me But changed me Confused but learning To slowly Accept the fact I can never Ever Ever hold your hand Lean my head upon Your chest Dance with you Hug you Will never happen. I deserve better. Who? Who? I ask you. Who? I don’t see it. You Are Sorry. For the better, You let me go. I am 90/10 10 wants you back so bad Bad 90 doesn’t. 90 knows We never Ever will It’d be stupid if we did. Stupid. Stupid. Lucky you told me now! We’d be married, Kids, Etc Oh by the way Babe I’m leaving Ugh Glad that never came Naturally torcher myself With ? Beat myself up I didn’t see It coming At all Like a gunshot You learn to live With the hole Something Someone else May May fill that hole But the hole The hole Will still be there. Always. Always Still friend Don’t like To call you Ex Ex Ex Hate that word Two letters Big change I hate that word And I cringe Cringe at the thought You once were mine. Mine Ugh Another thought. Ugh Don’t beat yourself I forbid it People make mistakes You learn to live with them Work on it I don’t want to go to another Funeral Funeral Why does it have the word Fun In funeral You might see Jesus, maybe That’s why. I don’t want to go to another Funeral Funeral And not see your face Because the casket Is closed Because it has to be You love me Enough To let me go And I thank You Always will thank You You I am worried For you Not me You I am worried About where your soul Will go I am I want to see you Where I pray I will End up I’m working On it You are part Of me In keeping You close to Him. Him. You Pray to Him. I Pray He Holds He holds your Long And thin Long and Thin Hands Though This. Will I ever get past this? No. No one Ever Ever Ever Gets past events They learn how to deal With it With it With it. Because it Is like Is like A gunshot A gunshot You learn To deal With with It. Trying to To rid girlfriend Girlfriend mode It is Habit Dang I hate it rid the girl Left in me She still wants Sometimes To kiss you For you To Hold Her But this me Does not No swim Swim Meets No No No That Is what she Did Not me Not me Not me Will I die If I Never try again? Again? What if I am Not Not meant to Be? Be with Someone Someone Will you? Ugh Dang You said You would Never Ever Ever Date. EvEr. I think I may Do the Same Same That gunshot? You Remember it? It freakin’ Burns. I don’t Know Who How They are Pouring Alcohol On it but They are And it hurts And burns. You saw me At the dance With him And you Were Glad I was Glad. Thank you. Can you Get Out Out Of my head????? PLZ???? I was scared To make That first move Hands on the bus With him I didn’t hesitate I like him And so I told Him. I hesitate when it comes to love Because of the Things People Objects I’ve seen. I pray But Hey I am still Keeping you a secret You A secret What cha Gonna say This Thanksgiving When I’m not At your Grandmother’s House? ? How will You Explain my Absence? Your family Don’t know We Broke Up. No. No. No. You broke Up with me. I just accepted That fact, The fact That still burns. And giving love another chance makes me confused and mad at myself for trying For trying For trying again Onemoretime Onemoretime I am mad At myself For ‘failing’ Quoting my Father here Failing At relationships I emotionally attached Myself to two People Men And now Having to Emotionally Detach Myself from them yet See them almost every God given day.