I miss that

I remember the days when I raced down the street on my bike,

Not having to worry about the stress that was chasing me.

I remember when I could rough house with my younger brothers on my front lawn,

Not knowing the tension I would wrestle with come school time.  

I miss that. 

I miss not knowing that to people above me in coporate settings saw me as cash flow. 

Not the son, brother, friend that I was. No, rather I was a dollar sign.

Something that they planned on utilizing to get above their peers.

I didn't know that long ago,

And I miss that.

I remember when summers were care-free times of play, saturated with laughter and sheer joy,

Rather than composed of restless anxiety as I stared at a computer screen for hours researching how to climb my way up to get an academic edge on my classmates. 

I remember at a summers end, I would return to school delighted to see all my friends again, 

Instead of now, coping with the anguish knowing that I would soon get lost in over bearing tests and assessments that would test and assess who I was to society as a number, and not as a person. 

I miss that,  so very much. 

I miss all hanging out wit my friends during the summer and doing crazy things that we would never forget. 

We can't do that now, we have to be adults and assume our responsibilities.

Sleepovers? Nope. The movies? I wish. Obnoxiously loud jam sessions? Maybe another time. 

Everyones doing their own thing now.

We're all being ripped apart because we have no choice but to run after money before someone else gets to it. 

We may never see each other again, but that's okay I understand, I'll force myself to forget you to deal with the pain anyway.

It didn't use to be this way. 

Just the other day, we were all riding our bikes down the street. Stress and responsibilites and everything else couldn't catch us, and it couldn't stop our smiles. 

I remember when everything made sense, and I didn't feel so underwater. 

And if I could pick one thing, I think that I can say I miss that feeling the most.