I Moved On

People don’t change. They just get better at lying.

That’s what you taught me, the words you used to drown me

In a pit so deep, filled with misery, I sat alone crying

A baby you called me, because I couldn’t see how heartless you could be

You got so distant, so secretive, but really it was time you were buying

Time away from me, time to cheat, time to lie – then time to leave

And where was I? Who am I?

You didn’t care where I was, and now I’m lost in the tales you spin, fighting for air

Can’t you see me fighting? I just want you to care!

But if you see me, you view me voiceless

You can’t hear my screams or my cries, and you’ve never noticed

But I’m here and I’m trying, and my trying may be nothing but crying

What did you want? You’ve broken me and you did me so bogus

Now I’ve moved on, and so have you – but still the scars mark the memories

And why am I the only one with scars? I thought it was us, but it was just me

It has always been just me – until he saw me naked in my feelings

Naked in my thoughts, naked in my pain and accepted more than just who I am

I had already begun the process but he speeds my healing

I love him, but your shadow hangs over me, your ghost reminding me

Your words repeat that I can’t be loved, that no one will stay, that I’m too fat – give up,

I will never be enough – he swears that I am and will be, but how can I trust?

Now, after all of this time, you feel the need to apologize but

All you offered was band aid of lies for a wound that I’ve learned to ignore.

I moved on.