I must break the cycle

The past year has changed me.

Scars have faded with new wounds in my side.

Moving forward with life leaves memories I would never change, but repitition haunts me. 

Shot after shot, toke after toke. Same faces night after night. 

I stop. I trade drunk nights for mornings of sobriety which changed me.

My pants get loser and my mind becomes clearer.

The nights of drunken past swirl together and I start to wonder where the lure was to begin with.

But then they stopped calling. When they stumble to bed while I rise with the sun, a connection is missed. 

I am sorry. My health and my future were waiting for me. Im sorry I had to break the cycle first. 

When you say it just isnt the same. I had to break the cycle.

I wont be another drunken girl in womans shoes with no where to go.

I will not be held back by the choices of my youth. 

I have never been more myself.

I have never felt such happiness from within.

I no longer search for friendship at the bottom of a bottle. 

I look at the mountains.

the stars.

the moon.

the sun.

I look in the mirror.