I Must Share Before You Go

I Must Share Before You Go (To My Mother) I thought all I wanted was for you to love me back Through our strained relationship, love seemed to lack Even today telling you is hard - I stand afraid To say these words that may soon not get said But how to reach you without casting unfounded blame… I know now that without you, I would not be the same- Time has continued teaching me lessons you once started... Ones I'm sure you wish I’ll learn before you've parted As time moves on, I understand more the pain I've caused you I'm beginning to see the truth behind things I already knew But my hard-headed pride never asked me to show The mistakes that I've made - you already know- As I work slowly to get my life back on track I realize despite the strain, you have always loved me back. You were right some time ago when you said to me It wasn't love sought, but acceptance, given unconditionally I was grasping for approval - a privilege unobtained And feeling hated and angry, I caused us to be estranged Little proof I've given to show you I'm deserving Of any forgiveness I ask, should you be serving But something you said, only two short months ago Struck home though said in jest, I want you to know Simply said in a discussion ona wagon wheel flower bed That it need only last until upon here you no longer tread It made me realize someday soon you won't be here And because what I mean is often difficult to hear Writing it down on paper makes it easier to see If my meaning had been shared with you from me I love you and I'm sorry - I wish I'd tried harder over time Many times I'd wished I could call you for advice Quite often I wish I'd thanked you for teaching me things I cannot begin to express what a relief this brings Knowing it's not too late to share feelings not shared before I hope you keep my message with you evermore… I love you, Dear Mother, more than you'll ever know These are the words left unsaid - I must share before you go. Silver Sapphire