I Need To Find Myself

Location

Home
Oneida Ave.
United States
41° 47' 14.5392" N, 95° 47' 3.552" W

I am tired of living.

I wished I lived in one of those fantasy lands where everything is great.

But who doesn’t.

Who am I kidding myself.

It’s not like it would make me feel any better.

I am emotionally exhausted.

I don’t why.

I am not happy.

I am not happy with my life or with the person I am.

For everything I do I feel so judged.

I don’t see the point in interacting with the people that say that they love me.

If they do love me then why are they judging me for everything I do or say?

If they really loved me they would leave me as I am and wouldn’t ask me to change.

It’s not like I wanted to be like this.

I’ve just gone through a lot with myself that I became this way.

I know that I can’t blame others.

But I grew up a household where everything is judged.

I HATE myself.

I wish that I could change the way that I am.

To be happy every second of every day.

Who am I kidding?

Everything that I do is perceived as wrong and I’m tired of it.

I can’t even be myself because I am judged all the time.

I wonder if anyone really truly cares about me.

I am who I am and I accept who I am.

The only problem is that other people don’t.

What for?

I hate myself why shouldn’t others?

Fuck everyone that wants to change the person that I have become.

I know I am not perfect.

I will never be.  

But you know what, I accept it!

I know who I am and what my goals are and that’s all that matters.

I accept myself so why can’t others?

I don’t see the problem.

All I want for my future is not for people to like me because I could really care less.

It is for me to get the love that I once had for myself back.

Maybe I haven’t lost it.

Maybe it’s just that I feel so lost.

With so many emotions that I feel like it is lost.

I need to find myself.

I have found parts.

But not my whole self.

I am the knowledge that I hope to gain. 

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