I Need Help And so do We

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Pay attention, you need to know this. 

Sit up, It's disrespectful to have your head down when I'm talking

Why isn't your work done?

If I, for a moment could unzip my inner thoughts. They would know. I did not click-clack away on my phone till dawn, or giggle at crap shows until my eyelids had the sensation of being made of lead.

I awoke to strangers im my house with big horse pills in plastic bags and the reeking oder of vodka, and promptly cleaned up after my care unit's party, took care of my sibling whose throat and nose left their voice raw and ragged to the ear, the same infernal infection I have been knocking heads with all week.

Do not assume you know me due to the sterotypes around me, do not assume I am the same loafer who shrugs of the work and will their whole life.

And do not

DO NOT

Assume that for one second I chose this over what you want out of me.

I would rather spend my days at school than wiping up the cheep alcholl spilt by strangers in my home, I would rather congigate verbs and solve equaions than spending every cold evening trying to drown out the screaming serio in sleep

And never

never

Assume I sit and moan on my ass while my home is swung at and crumbles by mistakes that others have made for me.

Do not assume I like to live in this world where I walk on eggshells with my thoughs tightly zipped inside my mouth.

I live in a place where the wrong words cause tantrums, and the impression of selfish betrayal. Where I want to snap and say something, but terrified of losing a mother's aproval.

Can there be a code? A word I can say that translates this scinario into something you understand and I give nothing away.

I had a rough night,

They were playing the music too loud nextdoor,

anything other than biting my tongue off for mummy's aproval.

 

 

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