I Need My Name

Lily of the Valley

Susana means lily of the valley.

Shoshanna, curled petals for hair,

bridged nose pollen speckled and running.

I was named for Abuelita Susana,

an anti-Semite leather belt

stinging my dad with welts until adulthood.

Abuela did not mean her name

until her stem shook down to dementia.

Curled petals for a mind, bridged heart,

pollen speckled and waning.

The only thing she remembered

was Chiquitita by ABBA, her grandson, and a record player.

I am not like her.

She was harpooned, jagging,

never the lily of the valley.

I am glad I have a chance to redefine Susana.

A lily in a valley

of infinite Susana’s.