I Never Fitted In

My name is...

Well who cares, anyway?

Who has truly cared as to whether or not my mouth formed words?

I was an outcast,

A weirdo,

A lame boy,

Geek,

Nerd,

Goggles...

They'd call me these things.

It's funny...

I always wanted to fit in,

But why fit in with mean people?

Is it fun?

I doubt it,

Is it cool?

To those who fitted in...

To matter or not to matter?

That was My question.

My name is...

Well, now a few people know.

I made friends,

Very few, 

But hey,

They knew my name...

Isaiah.

And that's all they had to call me.

A new family, 

A new sense of hope,

However...

It still didn't feel like enough for me...

I wanted everyone to like me,

I wanted to belong...

TO feel wanted...

But...

Is it worth it?

Will it determine anything in my life?

TO matter or not to matter?

Still my question.

Things REALLY began to shift in high school.

I told myself that I didn't need anyone to be successful,

and eventually...

The name calling started again...

But this time...

It was different...

Handsome,

Funny,

Adorable,

Kind,

Cute,

Leader,

Beacon,

Awesome,

Phenomenal,

Sensational...

And everyone knew my name...

And it was after life's valleys

That I began to see the sunrise on the mountaintops...

And I did it being myself...

To matter or not to matter?

I never fitted in...

I stood out.