I never understood.

I never understood when you used to say

that silence is deafening

because My silence

sounds like the voices

that speak to me when you ignore me. They

tattoo your face in my brain and

follow the curve of your

nose and flow over the mole just

under your eye. And I

can hear their grin when my phone buzzes

and it's not you.

I never understood when you said that

I would never be able to feel

silence because My silence is the blanket

you wrap around yourself

when you want to keep me out, it’s indestructible and

smells like flat Coke and

lost ambition.

I never understood why you said

that silence tasted like nothing when My silence tastes like the

birthday cake I baked for you that was made with sugar

and the tears I collellected when

you told me you loved me but it didn't reach

all the way to your toes.  

I never understood when you

said that Our silence was the glue

that held us together.

Because to me, Our silence was the acid hand  

you used to push me away

from you. And when you left,

your smile burnt itself onto my skin and

weeds grew in my hair.