I Only Swim In Anxiety

at 2am i'm up thinking
about everything i've done wrong

even if it's nothing
my mind is completely gone
it's out of my control

all the pain
that i hold
deep down inside
comes to the surface

i feel like i've lost all my purpose
and that's what anxiety does to me

it's 3am
and
my bathroom floor is
calling me back
asking me where i've been
and when i'll come back

blood might cover the floor
but i'll never swim in it
because anxiety keeps me up at night
but it also keeps me alive
gives me the drive
and passion i need to succeed

it's not a solution
but in conclusion
all i can say is thank you
for keeping me alive and focused
i just might survive and live to be twenty-five