I pissed my pants.

It was a normal Saturday, Just a night out on the town. And I was so high, Nothing was bringing me down. Left for the party "No, I don't have to pee" But then, halfway there I did And I thought, "Fuck me." Walk through the door make my way through the crowd Screamed, "Where is the bathroom!" But the party was too loud. “Hey, I hate to do this, But I really have to pee,” I said to my friend as we danced To ‘Call Me, Maybe’. She said, “It’s fine girl, let’s go,” And we head up the stairs. Got halfway to the top, though And had to stop. Are these people joking? Why the hell are you all here? I turned to my friend drunkenly slurred, "At this rate we’ll be waiting, For, like, at least a year." It was a row of dudes, Not a girl in the place. Just drunk boys staring at my, "I really have to piss" face. Then my song came on, And I started to get mad. “Listen, really I cannot wait, I have to go bad.” “Is there any way we could cut you, I just really have to go.” But none of the guys nodded, They all said no. “Are you kidding me? Really? Really right now?” And a look of confusion, Took over the crowd. “We’re girls, you’re boys, And unlike us you possess, The ability to urinate outdoors, Without getting pee on your dress. You're lucky, you see, We ladies don’t have the option Of standing while we pee. So would it kill you, really, To help a lady out? I just don’t want to squat, And question my pee’s route. Couldn’t you go outside? The cops won’t show up. I'm about to piss my pants, Does anyone have a cup?!?!” But my pleas went ignored, And we waited in line. Once it was almost our turn, I started thinking everything would be fine. Just one person ahead of us at last, I turned to my friend and said, "Bitches better move fast." But they were in there forever As I stood outside, With my legs clenched together, Pee edging towards my thigh. Someone shouted, 'Just a second!" At the sound of my knock. A second? What bull. Tick fucking tock. They finally came out, And I sprinted in, Sat down on the toilet, And let the relief begin. But, as the pee trickled down, I realized in a moment That this bathroom was out Of an important component. No wipes, no paper, No Q-tips in sight. No towels, no nothing To use to wipe. I ended up having to do that one thing, Where you squat and shake And allow the liquid to fling. I'm not proud, it's not amusing But what else was a girl to do? Besides, don't judge me, And if you are, then fuck you. The rest of the night Went off without a hitch, I drank a ton more, And didn't have to smack a bitch. But then later, Out of the clear night sky, I felt that tingle and I thought "Oh my..." As I walked home real late, I started to feel, A nagging sensation. It was time to break the seal. "Shit I need to hurry," I thought at the time. Home wasn't far, And I thought I was fine. I had drank a lot, But what else is new. I wasn't too worried, I'd be home in a few. But then it got worse, And I started to cringe. It was begging to get out, The entirety of my binge. As I drunkenly walked, I realized I was doomed. I clenched my legs together, And my heart began to boom. "There is no way," I thought, "That this is happening to me." I had never not made it home, In time to pee. However, as I struggled, Just feet from the door, My drunken mind lost control, And there was doubt no more. I stood there in silence, Keep my panties dry, I shan't, And I helplessly stood, And pissed my pants.