I possess an unusual knack for making women bristle

especially one named Broom Hilda,
hence immediately this birdman
wishes to escape into his eyrie

or seriously considers joining a nunnery
mainly for the less common slang definition
cuz yes, “nunnery”
sometimes used ironically to refer to a brothel,
and this secondary meaning
may well have added
a bitter undercurrent
to Hamlet's proceedings.

Whether interacting with the wife

(wielding a heavy duty iron skillet

and ready to clobber me one
hard on me noggin),

or either the eldest
or youngest daughter,
or even women I text
thru Facebook Messenger
in record time without breaking a sweat
yours truly can immediately
generate antagonistic reactions
all the while playing innocent and coy,
and nonchalantly humming to himself
while he doth figuratively amble along
the boulevard of broken dreams
(even if body electric of mine
sitting stock still in a seat)
drumming his fingers atop the table
passing time with insouciant whistle.

Countless attempts
and dog awful experiences
courtesy answering or posting
classified personal advertisements
arranging for myself, a quasi blind date
immediately at first blush
managed to incite instantaneously hate

essentially because - lame excuse

I came to the dating game late,

(when in mine

twenty first or second year

this then Norwegian bachelor farmer

went out on his metaphorical
maiden voyage rendezvous

with a sage gal,
who shared same birthday -
but six years older

(January thirteenth) as mine

lacking grooming skills or spit and polish,

indicative of ship shop shape
the writer of these words
even laughable as a bench warmer,
though getting familiar to balance and swing

and as a prime time player wannabe
easily and quickly mistaken for a charlatan

made apparent when I went out
with one after another gal,

whose heart of mine

did powerfully palpitate
while struggling to express affection

(blurting premature ejaculations
laced with verbalized hormonal secretions)

courtesy awkward tête-à-tête,
which rather juvenile spluttering utterances
hashtagged me lacking social graces.
 

Schizoid personality disorder
characterized by Individuals
with said disorder
exhibit a persistent tendency
toward social isolation
and a lack of desire
for close relationships,
often preferring solitary activities
and showing little interest
in intimate relationships
or social interactions,

which describes my outward to a “T”

profoundly pronounced
during formative impressionable years
of boyhood, adolescence
and emerging adulthood

essentially impeding healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,
and most like stunting physical,
mental and spiritual maturation
necessitating psychiatric
and psychological services
during his puberty
(disrupted, hijacked, and limned
courtesy anorexia nervosa)
no matter he lacked
participation and responsiveness
toward Theodore Goldberg
then linkedin with
Collegeville Counseling facility
early nineteen seventies.