I Pray

When will I get into my mind that life is an iron curtain of Lies . when life was inauguratly sin was already within the dim and we decided to live with it I hate this part of my life I just sometimes wish I could stab it with a knife but I can never kill my former self that would be a crime,murder,treason I dont want to be thrown in my jail, but in order for me to live I.....I have to kill something and a question always on my mind is why do I do this and why it would do that why why why why do anything life is a lie living here for "something" dying here for nothing  passing through hell and heaven which one's the answer? April 1st 1:09 a.m. and I'm still confused about life life has its ups and downs mostly it downs sometimes its up please I pray to God that this "life" will get better happiness is only shorted lived madness and sadness lives forever within us deep down.