I Pray for a Draw

We all take risks in this game.

We either lose or win.

I would rather have a draw.

No one ever knows their playing

Until they have they see

All the dreams, hopes, desires, wishes

That are spoken yet lost to frivolous age.

One minute you’re having fun.

The next minute you are crying.

How is it that you can love me?

How is that you can hate me?

Don't speak to me of the dreaded

"Don't you remember?!"

Quite indeed I do.

So I speak to you with sad recollection at mind

"Do you?"

You don’t hear me anymore.

Soon, I forgot how to speak,

How to sing and how to laugh.

You took my voice, my words.

I know the months have been ages, and the years mini centuries.

I wanted to help.

I wanted to save you.

I wanted to love you.

I tried in my own way, but you seemed indifferent. So, I left.

Then, I threw myself back in when I saw you. It's what I do.

Imperfect, hurtful, amazing, destructive, beautiful, scary you.

Even though time evades you, it still surprised me:

That you left me in history to handle our crumpled up affairs.

Those pieces of me

The love and safety

The hope and the courage…

They are just as crumpled up

As my dreams for our friendship

You didn’t destroy them.

So I still pray.

I still pray for you.

I still smile and laugh.

I took a risk for eight years.

It’s not fun when you lose.

All the dreams and wishes gone.

I just hope that out of this game,

That your happiness

That my forgiveness

Becomes a hopeful draw.