I questioned my intelligenceAnd

I questioned my intelligence And life’s depth and relevance Mom should’ve remained celibate Or at least used a contraceptive To give me protection Against my own conception It’s got me mentally arrested I want to cut my life connection So I no longer exist Sharpened blade to my wrist Poison aimed at my lips Battle of my faith, does God really exist? I tried to find The Light but the devil won’t submit So I quit, because I can’t find the Son God sent And I know I’m too weak to survive on my own strength Pain never seems to end so why does death make life worthless I’m expressing these verses because my soul is hurting I went searching for peace in the wrong place My heart breaks, I sealed my fate because I lost faith Life knocked me to my knees and forced me to pray So I cried out to God, and asked for rebirth Lord my spirit is parched and my heart hurts So He gave me the Blood of Jesus and quenched my thirst I laid at His feet and gave Him the rest of me When I willingly gave him my all, He gave me a destiny God promised me redemption in exchange for repentance I realize that my past does not have my future cemented I can’t earn it, I don’t deserve it—Salvation is gifted I’m just a vessel as long as His Holy Name is lifted The perfection of his Blood allowed me to start fresh Before He saved me, sin burned through my flesh Iniquity crushed my chest, but thank God He gave me new breath And put my old man to death So I praise Him, because I’m his chosen generation He called me out of darkness into His Great Illumination I’m unworthy, but He still blew Grace on my existence His Light gave me a new disposition Because His Love has no limit He still blesses me despite my dark confessions So I take it with no questions and thank Him for His presence And acceptance of my human imperfections I know He is always here, through prayer I’m connected I’ve got that wireless network called Heaven And I always get reception.