But I Refuse

The salt stings my eyes,

As tears blur my vision.

But I refuse to let them fall.

The skin on my palms now covered wih little crescent moons, 

As the fear of losing you becomes real

But I refuse to be afraid.

I haven't stopped shaking since the day we said goodbye.

And my heart feels like it keeps breaking or has stopped beating.

The air I need no longer reaches my lungs,

As the wind is constantly being knocked out of my chest.

But I refuse to suffocate.

I've been losing my mind,

As you haven't been around to keep me sane.

But I refuse to let it destroy me.

You'd think it would have gotten easier after all this time (and yet)

Each wave is just as strong

and relentless as the last

But this time,

I refuse to let them drown me.