I Regret You

Do you remember the first time I let you see my scars?

Do looked up at me and hit my face

You thought they were gross

“Don’t ever do it again.”

I was so embarrassed

I wanted to pull my shorts back up and run away

But I didn’t

I just stood there and took it

I regretted showing you my biggest flaw

I wish I had never let you touch me

Do you remember the first time you caught me on one of my dark days?

You asked me why I was so quiet

“I can’t stop thinking about my father.”

You told me to leave the past in the past

I told you I couldn’t

You didn’t try to comfort me

Two hours later I’m still thinking about my father

You didn’t notice I was crying until I told you

“You’re still thinking about it?”

I was so embarrassed

I hated myself for letting you see me on a dark day

I wish I had hidden my sadness better

Do you remember when I told you I was bisexual?

You were disgusted

You tried to take my pride flag off my wall

You tried to take my pride sticker off my laptop

“It’s not natural”

I was so ashamed

It took years to accept that part of me

Now I hate myself for being bi again

I wish I never came out

I wish I never sat by you in English

I wish we never started talking

I wish I hadn’t fallen for you

I wish we never met